I couldn't have ever guessed my 1,000th post would be made about such a horrible and troubled time for me right now. Yet I find some sort of comfort and coincidence with it being made on the subject at hand. In any case, here it goes. rest in peace mom..we will always love you.
Sharon Stabb May 5th 1952 to August 1st 2012
On Thursday 8/1/2012 I returned home like any other day. I sat for a bit talking to the kids, checking e-mail and whatnot. At about 5pm I get a knock on the door. Upon opening the door I was greeted by my wife's Uncle Dave, Aunt pat and Grandmother. Instantly this was a bizarre visit at a very strange time. I invited them in and greeted them all as I normally would, Dave and Pat a little more since I have not seen them since the passing of my Wife's Uncle Dan.
As soon as they got in and the hellos were finished, it turned real sour real quick. Uncle Dave proceeded to tell me, that my wife's mother had passed away earlier in the afternoon. I was almost paralyzed by this news. She was a woman whom I have loved and shared lots of great times with for the past 15 years. We had been thru foreclosure, bankruptcy, everything...all the while together and strong as a family. She had some medical issues yes, but this...this was sudden and a total shock. Once I was strong enough to speak, I asked him how he was going to tell Jenn, my wife? Dave then told me that I was the one who had to tell my wife.
I kid you not when I say that having to tell someone, that a close loved one has passed away, especially their mother, is hands down the hardest and most gut wrenching thing I have ever been asked to do. This wasn't your typical relationship either. My wife and her mother were inseparable best friends. They told each other everything and called each other almost ten times a day each. For my wife, it would be like telling her that she basically lost herself. I tried desperately for about 10 minutes, pacing back and fourth in the living room trying to figure out how I was going to do this...what was the best way to do it.
I know now, that no matter how you do it, or how gently you try....the pain and agony is still the same. She was bathing at the time when this was going on, and having to wait for her to come out of the bathroom made it that much worse. Yet somehow I found the courage to tell her, and after that moment...neither of us were the same. She is completely and utterly devastated. And the kids...well...they took it just as hard. Right now I am trying everything possible to keep my shattered family together and find the strength to move on....but I am slowly slipping. She was like a mother to me..and in the same turn, she considered and spoke of me as a true blood son to her.
Today, my wife went to the funeral home to pay her last respects before she was cremated. Now, she seems even worse and I feel helpless. I don't know what to do or what to say. Does even being with her, help at all? I turn to my friends here, friends whom I have depended on, and whom I know thru words and understanding can help to give me strength through this tough time. I need to know that I did the right thing...that I can still move on and help my wife and kids to cope with this loss. I need help and advice. Can any of you understand what I am going through, and relate?