Sniper0092 Posted March 28, 2014 Report Share Posted March 28, 2014 This is Jurassic Park: Outbreak, a sequel to Michael Crichton's books, 23 years after the Nublar incident. 18 years after TLW. I printed out 152 pages if you didn't see my last thread, more of my story is on DA and my PC. I hope you enjoy, the chapters are linked together http://fav.me/d61hp7t please comment, rate, and subscribe. Thank you. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
D-38 Boss Posted April 2, 2014 Report Share Posted April 2, 2014 Typo or not... I like the sound of a Nublar incident. XD Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sniper0092 Posted April 2, 2014 Author Report Share Posted April 2, 2014 Typo or not... I like the sound of a Nublar incident. XD This is Sorna. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
D-38 Boss Posted April 2, 2014 Report Share Posted April 2, 2014 Like I said, It didn't matter if it was a typo or not. I like the cut of it's jib, Nublar. It's fun to say. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sniper0092 Posted April 2, 2014 Author Report Share Posted April 2, 2014 Like I said, It didn't matter if it was a typo or not. I like the cut of it's jib, Nublar. It's fun to say. Ok....Well what else did you like about the story? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
D-38 Boss Posted April 2, 2014 Report Share Posted April 2, 2014 It's an interesting take on Jurassic Park, kinda far from what the regular movie is, But that's not a bad thing. Most people write FF by inserting their own character into the regular story (Guilty as charged ) But this feels fresh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sniper0092 Posted April 3, 2014 Author Report Share Posted April 3, 2014 It's an interesting take on Jurassic Park, kinda far from what the regular movie is, But that's not a bad thing. Most people write FF by inserting their own character into the regular story (Guilty as charged ) But this feels fresh. You read just the prologue or some other chapters? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
D-38 Boss Posted April 3, 2014 Report Share Posted April 3, 2014 Just the prologue so far. I'd need a decent amount of time to crack into the rest of it. I'll probably start into the other stuff in a few days, when I don't have work. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sniper0092 Posted April 3, 2014 Author Report Share Posted April 3, 2014 Just the prologue so far. I'd need a decent amount of time to crack into the rest of it. I'll probably start into the other stuff in a few days, when I don't have work. People seem to be always too busy to see more of my stuff, but ok. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
D-38 Boss Posted April 3, 2014 Report Share Posted April 3, 2014 People seem to be always too busy to see more of my stuff, but ok. I have work, and projects of my own I'm working on. I said I'd read it. Just not right away. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Delpen9 Posted April 17, 2014 Report Share Posted April 17, 2014 I'll be reading this come this afternoon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sniper0092 Posted April 17, 2014 Author Report Share Posted April 17, 2014 I'll be reading this come this afternoon. Ok. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Delpen9 Posted April 17, 2014 Report Share Posted April 17, 2014 Just finished the prologue, and I'm relieved that it wasn't much of an 'info dump'. With the clear transitions and rapid pacing, I wasn't bored at all. When you described the raptor scratching the door it may have been ideal to add in some onomatopoeia(I spell-checked that lol) such as 'SHJJJJUUUAH' to add a emphasis on the horrid sound of the noise. Additionally, making the velociraptor gnarl would have been a nice descriptor. Mainly what kept me with the prologue was your latent use of humor, whether unintentional or not, I cracked up when you told us how horrific the site of a bulging man running was. xD Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sniper0092 Posted April 18, 2014 Author Report Share Posted April 18, 2014 Just finished the prologue, and I'm relieved that it wasn't much of an 'info dump'. With the clear transitions and rapid pacing, I wasn't bored at all. When you described the raptor scratching the door it may have been ideal to add in some onomatopoeia(I spell-checked that lol) such as 'SHJJJJUUUAH' to add a emphasis on the horrid sound of the noise. Additionally, making the velociraptor gnarl would have been a nice descriptor. Mainly what kept me with the prologue was your latent use of humor, whether unintentional or not, I cracked up when you told us how horrific the site of a bulging man running was. xD Thanks, that means a lot. The humor parts are not always meant to be there, lol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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