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A little story to get you ready for the holidays! Little Billy was praying on his bedside, "Oh lord, please let Christmas be early this year, please let it be early." Then all of a sudden, Little Billies dog, Toto came running in barking. "Oh TOTO You're back! I Missed you sooo much" said little billy. "Shut the hell up Billy, I am not Toto"- said Toto "Oh well golly Toto you sure are grumpy.." said little billy "I'm an elf, clearly an elf Billy, how can you not see this?" said Toto, who was actually an elf. " No you're my Toto, Toto." said little billy. "Okay fine, I am your 'Toto' but Billy, you have to come with me quickly! You need to help me.." said Toto, who was actually an elf named Ralph. Before I continue on, here is a little backstory on Ralph. Ralph grew up on the south side of Santa's Kingdom in the Arctic up North. Santa Claus was no jolly being either, he was a mean, fat dictator, who killed elves on his own time. (1950's man laugh) Haha well we can't worry about him right now. Now as I was saying, Ralph was a young elf, forced to come to find the dumbfounded little billy. Ralph was a single elf, never to have a wife because he was a ****. Ralph was a **** okay? He ruined the life and dreams of young children all over the world in 1929 because he crashed the stock market and shot Arch Duke F. to start WW1, this guy is a bad elf. Anywho, let us continue on with Billie and Ralph. "Why should I help you Toto?" said little Billy in a fuss "Because I'll rip off your %$2% if you don't help me....Fair enough?" Said Ralph "What does %#$% mean?" Said little billie "We don't have time for this, ask your mom or teacher in school" Said Ralph "Okay Toto, I'll help you, what do you need me to do?" "To Spread the word Billie" Said Ralph "What do you mean Toto?" Asked Little billie curiously "You must spread the word of christmas cheer to all, or I'll rip your #$@% off" said Ralph "Is that your solution to everything?" said Little Billie "Just do It!" Said Ralph. With that, Ralph climbed out of Billies window and flew away. The next day, Billie went to school and told everyone about Christmas, and how it was coming, and then he asked his Teacher what $%#* meant. The End. The moral of the story is, THE SKELETON WAR IS OVER, CHRISTMAS IS HERE!!! SPREAD THE WORD!