Twinreaper Posted April 25, 2014 Report Share Posted April 25, 2014 Ok guys, I know this is a bit unorthodox of an approach, but I'm fresh out of ideas and outlets. The basic premise of this thread, is so that fellow members and friends of this forum can post personal issues they are experiencing and gain help or advice/guidance from members whom may have insight or something useful to contribute. Thread guideline is simple. If you have a problem, post it! Please try not to use any vulgar language or anything inappropriate. If your responding to a problem someone has, please "quote" the problem, then issue your advice or guidance. Now that, that is all laid out, I'll start off.... I am at a point in my life right now, where I am unable to do anything proactive enough to change it. That's not to say I'm not trying, but all efforts and directions I choose, seem to fail. I lost my job back in February and I was ineligible to collect unemployment. I have spent the last 15 years of my life doing Restaurant management and Retail management. Every position I apply for in my local stores, seems to go nowhere. I think people see my resume and application and disqualify me for basic jobs based on the old perception that "I am overqualified". I am broke and I need work close to home, since my car was repo'd. I am looking for any kind of direction or guidance that might help me get a job ASAP! The second part of my problem involves a girl. many of you know I got divorced back in August of 2013. The divorce was due to a relationship I started with my then girlfriend Amelia. Since Amelia left me back in September, I have struggled to find acceptance and a partner in general who I really click with. I recently met someone and I really like her! We click on many levels and she reminds me a lot of Amelia. I'm not trying to compare them, I just know what I want in a girl. My problem is, I'm afraid to move forward with her, due to my inability to generate income and really contribute anything on a minute level in a relationship. The older I am getting, the harder it is to find the girl I'm looking for. I've been told to go for it anyway, or I might miss out. I have told this girl all about my situation, and she still talks to me and seems interested. To quote her, "An honest broke is better than a lying man trying to be something he is not". So what should I do? Should I continue talking to her and let her know I like her and want to see something more come out of it? Or should I cut communication and say **** it? I really need some help here guys and gals. I'm not used to feeling this helpless, and anything you can provide might help me out. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silent Orbis Posted April 25, 2014 Report Share Posted April 25, 2014 Ok guys, I know this is a bit unorthodox of an approach, but I'm fresh out of ideas and outlets. The basic premise of this thread, is so that fellow members and friends of this forum can post personal issues they are experiencing and gain help or advice/guidance from members whom may have insight or something useful to contribute. Thread guideline is simple. If you have a problem, post it! Please try not to use any vulgar language or anything inappropriate. If your responding to a problem someone has, please "quote" the problem, then issue your advice or guidance. Now that, that is all laid out, I'll start off.... I am at a point in my life right now, where I am unable to do anything proactive enough to change it. That's not to say I'm not trying, but all efforts and directions I choose, seem to fail. I lost my job back in February and I was ineligible to collect unemployment. I have spent the last 15 years of my life doing Restaurant management and Retail management. Every position I apply for in my local stores, seems to go nowhere. I think people see my resume and application and disqualify me for basic jobs based on the old perception that "I am overqualified". I am broke and I need work close to home, since my car was repo'd. I am looking for any kind of direction or guidance that might help me get a job ASAP! The second part of my problem involves a girl. many of you know I got divorced back in August of 2013. The divorce was due to a relationship I started with my then girlfriend Amelia. Since Amelia left me back in September, I have struggled to find acceptance and a partner in general who I really click with. I recently met someone and I really like her! We click on many levels and she reminds me a lot of Amelia. I'm not trying to compare them, I just know what I want in a girl. My problem is, I'm afraid to move forward with her, due to my inability to generate income and really contribute anything on a minute level in a relationship. The older I am getting, the harder it is to find the girl I'm looking for. I've been told to go for it anyway, or I might miss out. I have told this girl all about my situation, and she still talks to me and seems interested. To quote her, "An honest broke is better than a lying man trying to be something he is not". So what should I do? Should I continue talking to her and let her know I like her and want to see something more come out of it? Or should I cut communication and say **** it? I really need some help here guys and gals. I'm not used to feeling this helpless, and anything you can provide might help me out. I'm not one to talk, but my father's told me time and time again to (once I grow up) to never, EVER, get married unless I'm financially stable. So that's what I'd recommend. My dad was also out of work for the last year, snd he finally got one at his old company, with some people he used to work with. And he hates it, because the very person he trained back in the day is his new boss. But it's still temporary, and there's a financial base. He's now actively applying for better jobs, and it has helped. So try to search your career history, get something small but helpful, because "over qualification" wouldn't be an issue with old pals. Basically, try to get hooked up. I hope that helped. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VinWarrior Posted April 25, 2014 Report Share Posted April 25, 2014 Ok guys, I know this is a bit unorthodox of an approach, but I'm fresh out of ideas and outlets. The basic premise of this thread, is so that fellow members and friends of this forum can post personal issues they are experiencing and gain help or advice/guidance from members whom may have insight or something useful to contribute. Thread guideline is simple. If you have a problem, post it! Please try not to use any vulgar language or anything inappropriate. If your responding to a problem someone has, please "quote" the problem, then issue your advice or guidance. Now that, that is all laid out, I'll start off.... I am at a point in my life right now, where I am unable to do anything proactive enough to change it. That's not to say I'm not trying, but all efforts and directions I choose, seem to fail. I lost my job back in February and I was ineligible to collect unemployment. I have spent the last 15 years of my life doing Restaurant management and Retail management. Every position I apply for in my local stores, seems to go nowhere. I think people see my resume and application and disqualify me for basic jobs based on the old perception that "I am overqualified". I am broke and I need work close to home, since my car was repo'd. I am looking for any kind of direction or guidance that might help me get a job ASAP! The second part of my problem involves a girl. many of you know I got divorced back in August of 2013. The divorce was due to a relationship I started with my then girlfriend Amelia. Since Amelia left me back in September, I have struggled to find acceptance and a partner in general who I really click with. I recently met someone and I really like her! We click on many levels and she reminds me a lot of Amelia. I'm not trying to compare them, I just know what I want in a girl. My problem is, I'm afraid to move forward with her, due to my inability to generate income and really contribute anything on a minute level in a relationship. The older I am getting, the harder it is to find the girl I'm looking for. I've been told to go for it anyway, or I might miss out. I have told this girl all about my situation, and she still talks to me and seems interested. To quote her, "An honest broke is better than a lying man trying to be something he is not". So what should I do? Should I continue talking to her and let her know I like her and want to see something more come out of it? Or should I cut communication and say **** it? I really need some help here guys and gals. I'm not used to feeling this helpless, and anything you can provide might help me out. I put it in a Spoiler Box to lessen the amount of words this post has, but to be honest, I can only assist in one aspect of your problem my friend. I have never in my life held a paying job, at least not yet, so I don't know how to fix your employment problems, especially since you're "overqualified" according to some outlets. As for your lady friend, don't move forward just yet, discuss with her the idea for a few weeks, tell her how you feel, but that you don't know if she'd be open to pursue something just yet. If she is open to it, then godspeed to you, if she isn't, wait it out and stay in contact with her, once you're financially stable, take her out and see where it goes. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ranger Intel Posted April 25, 2014 Report Share Posted April 25, 2014 (edited) Ok guys, I know this is a bit unorthodox of an approach, but I'm fresh out of ideas and outlets. The basic premise of this thread, is so that fellow members and friends of this forum can post personal issues they are experiencing and gain help or advice/guidance from members whom may have insight or something useful to contribute. Thread guideline is simple. If you have a problem, post it! Please try not to use any vulgar language or anything inappropriate. If your responding to a problem someone has, please "quote" the problem, then issue your advice or guidance. Now that, that is all laid out, I'll start off.... I am at a point in my life right now, where I am unable to do anything proactive enough to change it. That's not to say I'm not trying, but all efforts and directions I choose, seem to fail. I lost my job back in February and I was ineligible to collect unemployment. I have spent the last 15 years of my life doing Restaurant management and Retail management. Every position I apply for in my local stores, seems to go nowhere. I think people see my resume and application and disqualify me for basic jobs based on the old perception that "I am overqualified". I am broke and I need work close to home, since my car was repo'd. I am looking for any kind of direction or guidance that might help me get a job ASAP! The second part of my problem involves a girl. many of you know I got divorced back in August of 2013. The divorce was due to a relationship I started with my then girlfriend Amelia. Since Amelia left me back in September, I have struggled to find acceptance and a partner in general who I really click with. I recently met someone and I really like her! We click on many levels and she reminds me a lot of Amelia. I'm not trying to compare them, I just know what I want in a girl. My problem is, I'm afraid to move forward with her, due to my inability to generate income and really contribute anything on a minute level in a relationship. The older I am getting, the harder it is to find the girl I'm looking for. I've been told to go for it anyway, or I might miss out. I have told this girl all about my situation, and she still talks to me and seems interested. To quote her, "An honest broke is better than a lying man trying to be something he is not". So what should I do? Should I continue talking to her and let her know I like her and want to see something more come out of it? Or should I cut communication and say **** it? I really need some help here guys and gals. I'm not used to feeling this helpless, and anything you can provide might help me out. I once set up a PM thread for this with Members here on the forum and it went well I guess. Glad to see you posted this. One thing I'd like to mention for the OP Twin, anyone replying should act dead serious and not be insensitive to some people's problems. Thank you. Now, about your job, to be honest there's not much I can do to help IRL. All I can say is that you always have the choice to look for jobs online. Decent paying ones. Start from the bottom, then keep learning more and moving up. As a last resort I'd personally join the Military, some people may not be like that though. So check websites for decent paying jobs, or even better-try find some contracts. Contracts may not always last long, but pay high amounts and you can learn a lot from them. Now about girls. When there's a girl I really like, I can get insanely attracted to her. It depends on who it is. I feel like I want to do everything for that one girl and I spend ages thinking about her. If there's one thing I've learnt, it's that you come before the girl. Trust me when I say this. Focus on yourself and your health first before you focus on the girl. You and your life is more important. Don't go out of your way for her, no matter how much you want to please her, especially if you're broke. Make sure you are good and everything before dedicating time and money to a girl. You are more important. She's probably living a broke-free life. If you're broke, you need to get yourself sorted out first. Make sure you're always staying fit and healthy and doing the things you want to do. Don't let her change your life in any way unless it's a positive way. I used to think it was all about the girl and what ever she wanted, but I was wrong. What if the girl never even liked me? I'm not going to sit heart-broken because of a girl. Now don't be mislead by thinking I'm saying "Don't care about the girl.", I'm saying that you should take care of yourself first. So learn things, get money, stay healthy, and stay happy. If not happy, then at least be positive. Always think right and don't let the girl distract you. If the girl likes you then that's great and I'm happy for you, but sometimes it's about you and your health-not the girl. What ever you do, don't drink or smoke. It won't do any better. Might sound like I'm going off-topic, but these things happen. Anyway, one more thing: Stay strong. Edited April 25, 2014 by UNSC Spartan-II 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zelda Posted April 25, 2014 Report Share Posted April 25, 2014 Twinreaper, Edward is got the idea for your lady friend. Best to wait it out a while until you figure out which path your life is going to take you down. Because even if you do land yourself a job, and you get with her, something may go wrong with the job and then the pressure of it may start to effect your new relationship. As for you trying to figure out something for work, have you tried to pretty much throw your resume's in every direction possible? Even in positions you really dont want to work for? What I am saying is try to throw yourself several lines and see if any fish bite. If you need work really badly, just try send resume's in every direction and see what happens. And even if no one near you responds to them, who's to say no one a little further distance away doesn't answer your resume? Who knows, maybe there's a manager or someone higher up, who really needs your kind of experience that is willing to cover the costs of getting you to them? Honestly, it never hurts to try. And the biggest problem of it might just be the amount of time it takes for you to continue making more resume's. Try some of that for a while and see if it might work. PS- I forgot how to do spoilers. So I just put your name in a different color. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silent Orbis Posted April 25, 2014 Report Share Posted April 25, 2014 Oh, Twinreaper, try Linkedin, and pay $10 a month for premium if you can afford it - it's SO helpful. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MCPO Mayh3m Posted April 25, 2014 Report Share Posted April 25, 2014 All the quotes are above me so I won't bother with that. Response to Paragraph 1: Jobs are tough to come by, trust me... I know and you know that I know. I am sure you've used all the internet search engines and such. But heck, if you are close enough to an airport, check and see if any of the airlines are hiring in your area. Also, since I know you are familiar with coding and such, check out the website dice.com and computerjobs.com. This is the career center from my college, this particular page has various career fields and under each tab is a list of job board sites that are suited for each one. It is a rough situation man, but it's something that I've learned you have to keep trying to reach. (but I would seriously check out the airport for jobs, if they don't have any then check the airlines that are going into that area, they tend to list jobs that the airport wont). Response to Paragraph 2: Before you speak ask yourself if what you are going to say is true, is kind, is necessary, is helpful. If the answer is no, maybe what you are about to say should be left unsaid. ~Bernard Meltzer While I agree with others saying that you should be able to support someone before you get extremely serious, I think that if the feeling is mutual there would be understanding and a way to work around the problem. If she does feel the same, then I think she would understand the situation you are in and stick by you until it is sorted. TL;DR: If you say nothing, you gain nothing. If she feels the same, I would think she would stick by you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twinreaper Posted April 25, 2014 Author Report Share Posted April 25, 2014 Thank you for the replies guys. I will triple my efforts using the suggestions you al provided in my job search. As for the girl, that's tricky. While I want to stay in contact with her, she is likely not going to wait. We met online, meaning a site geared toward people looking for a relationship. because of the circumstances, if I don't act, I am likely to lose any chance. If I do act and she bites, it still puts me in a bad spot. I guess either way I'm destined to suffer. I guess the real question is, which is the lesser of two evils? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caboose The Ace Posted April 26, 2014 Report Share Posted April 26, 2014 Twin you come first plain and simple once you are in a good position money wise , health wise etc then would be a good time to have a relationship and don't worry there is plenty of Women out there anyway. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ranger Intel Posted April 26, 2014 Report Share Posted April 26, 2014 Thank you for the replies guys. I will triple my efforts using the suggestions you al provided in my job search. As for the girl, that's tricky. While I want to stay in contact with her, she is likely not going to wait. We met online, meaning a site geared toward people looking for a relationship. because of the circumstances, if I don't act, I am likely to lose any chance. If I do act and she bites, it still puts me in a bad spot. I guess either way I'm destined to suffer. I guess the real question is, which is the lesser of two evils? Suffering isn't necessary. It all really depends on how she feels about it. All actions have consequences, some good, some bad. You choose to do or say what you want, when you want. It depends on what she feels though, but don't forget that you've always got a chance. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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