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  1. Ok, let's get to the point shall we you inferior bunch. I'm not gonna waste my time making it dramatic like the other candidates, even though they're gonna lose I lack the knowledge to why they bothered in the first place. I don't really mind about wasting your time making you read this piece of art amazingness no... crap, yup that fits it perfectly. Ok right, well, as the smarter individuals of your pathetic human race know, I was nominated once again (seriously, how many times have I pulled out at the last moment?), it's kinda become a sort of brainwashed tradition. Whoever started it without my knowledge, I applaud you. *clap* To the less beings, the statement above in short terms means I'm going for the Dictatorship Presidency of the Forums. If you can't understand that for the lack of brain power. I'm going to win is all you need to know. Since the birth of time it was known that I would claim this day as my own, a day of a new dawn, a new darkness and a new terror joyfulness and bliss. You can see the proof below if you don't believe me, which would be a foolish mistake of you since I am just never wrong, I am always correct, I just choose to bend it a little. From that day onwards the Grand Matriarchs lived in awaiting, praying that the day of hope would come soon as the darkness was slowly making a return to the known world. That darkness being any other candidate voted into position. On 9/10/1995 a child was born and raised in a household of beings called humanity, these creatures took care of this blessed soul, they did not realise his potential was so great and halted his greatness in so many areas it was disgraceful,. but then, they came to the realisation that when he started to achieve greatness in his life such as the Great Journey to the Realm of Outside, the Search for the long lost Model Train, the suffering endured due to the Great Tree fall and the Inner self discovery of the love for massively ring shaped super weapons. These achievements were seen as triumphs for all of mankind, and he was revered from then on. However, his greatness came at a terrible price as when he found himself alone in his room on a powerful invention called the Great Computer of Power. This beast with an Intel Pentium core processor allowed him to travel the Sea of Bytes & Bits to the Land of Google. Eventually his great journey ended him up in the place of 343i.org. This discovery made him feel at home, his presence shocked thousands around him, no one had heard of his whereabouts for such a long time that he had turn back into a being of legend. His quick revival allowed him to seek the status of MoM in such short time, his greatness was viewed by all, which allowed him later in his life to take on the Continent of Facebook adminship. He settled down later to let others take over such great challenges, none which would ever be as momentous as his history. He then started to drain away his eternal life on the site, reporting, gaining oh so many sweet awards, and that unreachable 148000+ shouts, to which this day has passed over 151000 shouts. Obtaining Twam's rare slice of pizza without even being a moderator. Gaining the greatest amount of profile views the site has ever laid its puny eyes upon. His incredible quality of posts was admired by all, every, single, last, one of them. All of those 1000 or so Offbeat posts were totally legit and good alright? Kthx He then started to lead a peaceful life that reached over 200 days on the site, that was the light touched the shadow. A new dawn became apparent, the Title of Forum Ruler shall be his. He silently left subtle messages into peoples minds knowing one day that it'll come to great use when needed. He then started to prepare for the Great Election which he is destined to win, it cannot change, it is a fixed point in history that can never be undone. So just give up already other candidates. He promised 3 things from the birth of time itself; 1. Free rashers of Bacon to those who vote and continue to support his almighty greatness. 2. Freedom from the Grandmapocalypse, the nightmare that lurks under our feet, in which the other candidates have no hope in challenging. Which is shown below of their horror. 3. Total control over the inferiors, controlling those weak enough to look after themselves and also controlling those who think they can look after themselves. This is the day of change my friends subjects. It is a new era, an era of pain, suffering and control. You will not be in 'happiness' under the leadership of others, you only hope is to follow the cat of truth and see that I am your true savoir.
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