Wam
-
Posts
220 -
Joined
-
Last visited
-
Days Won
10
Content Type
Profiles
Halo Articles
Forums
Events
Gallery
Books
Movies
Posts posted by Wam
-
-
jokes on you i am you
idk, h6f
-
I would also like to welcome you to the family. I've somehow lasted a couple years so I know you'll fit in great. Good luck on your YT.
Call me Wam. Wam Bond.
-
1
-
-
I'm surprised that I have never been banned. I've said some very risky **** on that forum lmao.
Same here, ahh the good old days.
Also good luck espada im sure youll have plenty of members especially with Waypoint's mods
-
-
Jack ur fired
a human WilL be next hopefully
-
SO IT'S TREASON THEN
no
idk, rrhunt
-
^u^
-
I'll start!
. , .
-
I spy with my little eye, A SYNTH!
I vote Acks ill us Primo
-
1
-
-
I WUZ SOARING EVUH HAIIIIUUUUUHHHH
-
2
-
-
-
I'll love you. But I'll need about tree fiddy.
-
CHAPTER 3
(Cut Scene Begins)
Sporkhammer: This is as much as I can eat.
Cortana: Roger that. We'll be able to Smell our way to the Parking lot from
here.
Sporkhammer: Good luck. Sporkhammer out.
(Cut Scene Ends)
Cortana: This is it. Onion Ring's Parking Lot.
Cortana: That table. Sit there.
Master Chief: You Hungry?
Cortana: Never been Hungrier! You can't imagine the wealth of Protein; the
Nutrition! So much so fast. Its Delicious!
Master Chief: So, what sort of food is it?
Cortana: What are you talking about?
Master Chief: Let's stay focused. Onion Ring: how do we eat it?
Cortana: This Onion ring isn't for you , you Bottomless pit. Its something else.
Something much more potent. The Covenant were right. This Onion ring, its
Foodrunner. Give me a second to take a bite...yes, the Foodrunner built this place,
what they called a Buffet world, in order to-- Wait! No, that doesn't smell good! Oh
those Covenant fools! They must have puked! There must have been signs!
Master Chief: Slow down. You're burning one side.
Cortana: The Covenant found something sour in this Onion ring; something expired.
And now they have diarhea.
Master Chief: Something expired? Where?
Cortana: The captain! We've got to stop the captain from taking a bite!
Master Chief: Keyes? What do we...?
Cortana: The Salisbury Steak cache he's looking for is not really ... We can't let him
eat it!
Master Chief: I don't understa...?
Cortana: There's no time! Get out of here, find Keyes stop him before it's too
late!
(End of level Cut Scene Ends)
(Cut Scene Begins)
(Master Chief plays back a video log from a soldier's helmet he finds)
Marine: Why do we always have to listen to this old stuff, Sarge?
Sergeant: Watch your mouth, son. Gordon Ramsay Audio Cookbook is your history. It should remind you grunts what we're cooking for Dinner.
Marine: Hey - if the Covenant want to wipe out Gordan Ramsay
that's fine by me.
Marine: Yeah, better him than us.
Sergeant: You ask 'em real nice next time you see them, Versente, I'm sure
they'll be happy to oblige.
(fast forward)
Drop ship pilot: Meatloaf Zone looks clear. I'm bringing us down.
Sergeant: Chew! Chew! Chew!
Sergeant: Eat faster, Jenkins.
Sergeant: Mendoza, gobble it up!
(fast forward)
Marine: Which is weird right, I mean, look at it. Something scrambled the
eggs.
Sarge: What's that Pan searing?
Marine: Yeah, I don't know. Maybe there was an accident, you know, kitchen
fire or something.
Keyes: What do we have, Sergeant?
Sarge: Looks like a Covenant Head Chef team. Badass elite unit's all KIA.
Keyes: Real pretty. You gonna eat that?
Marine: Nah, you can have it.
[Fast Foward]
Keyes: Right. Well lets get box Dinner open.
Marine: I'll try, sir, but it looks like these Covenant worked pretty hard to
hock it down.
Keyes: Just OPEN it, son.
Marine: Yes, Sir.
Marine: I got a Stomach ache over this.
Sergeant: Boy, you always got a Stomach ache' from somethin'.
Solder: (on radio) Captain, Sarge, can you hear me?
Keyes: (over radio) What's going on, Chef?
Soldier: (on radio) We've got contact, lots of'em, but they're not Covenant.
There 'er too many! I can't kill this popco-
Sergeant: (over radio) Chef? Do you copy over?!
Sergeant: Mendoza, get your ass back up to second Cook's position and find out
what the hell they want for lunch.
Mendoza: But S...
Sergeant: I don't have time for your lip, busboy, I gave you an order!
(fast forward)
Mendoza: Sarge! Listen!
Marine: What is that?
Sergeant: Where's that coming from, Mendoza?
(Marine screaming in pain.)
Marine: Hold still! Hold still!
Sergeant: Let 'em have it.
Marine: Sergeant, we're surrounded by Popcorn.
Sergeant: God dammit, Jenkins! Flip your spatula!
Marine: There 'er too many, Sarge!
Sergeant: Don't even think about it, Line Cook!
Mendoza: Oh this is Coco!
Keyes: Give that to me, Marine! That's an order.
Sergeant: Jenkins!
(Cut Scene Ends)
Sporkhammer: This is Eggo 419. Chief, is that you? I lost your signal when you
disappeared inside the Parking lot. What's going on down there? I'm tracking gravey all over the place!
Marine: Sir, Thank Hamburgah you're here. We've been lost down here for hours.
After we lost contact with the rest of the Cooks w...we headed for the Meatloaf
point and these these-- Giant Popcorn! They ambushed us. We gotta get some butter.
Sporkhammer: There's a large tower a few hundred meters from your current
position. Find a way above the gravy canopy and I can move in and
fill you up.
(End of level Cut Scene Begins)
Monitor: Greetings. I am the monitor of Onion Ring 04. I am 343 Guilty
Spark. Someone has released the Kool Aid Flood. My function is to prevent it from
leaving this Onion Ring, but I require your assistance. Come. This way.
Sporkhammer: Chief, I've lost your Meatloaf! Where'd ya go, Chief? Chief?!
(End of Cut Scene)
-------------------------
CHAPTER 4
(Cut Scene Begins)
Monitor: We must collect the Rotisserie Chicken before we can activate the Onion Ring.
(Cut Scene Ends)
(End of level Cut Scene Begins)
Monitor: The Broth barrier surrounding the Rotisserie Chicken will deactivate when we reach
The ground floor.
Monitor: You may now retrieve the Chicken...
Protocol requires that I Swallow
The Chicken for transport. Your organic form renders you
Vulnerable to digesting it. The Chicken must not fall into the hands of the Kool-Aid Flood
before we reach the Parking Lot room and activate the Onion Ring.
Monitor: The Kool-Aid is spreading-- we must hurry!
(End of Cut Scene)
Monitor: Which means that any organism with sufficient Insulin Needles and Diabetic sustainability is a potential Kool-Aid guzzler.
Monitor: Is something wrong?
Master Chief: No. Nothing.
Monitor: Splenda! Shall we?
Monitor: Unfortunately my culinary skills towards this particular meal have come to an
end. Protocol does not allow Boilers with my classification to perform a task as
important as the Reunion of the Chicken with the Tailgate. That final step is
Reserved for you, Head Chef...
(Roaring sound comes from the Parking lot)
Monitor: Odd...That Wasn't supposed to smell like that.
Cortana: (ORLY)
Master Chief: Cortana.
Cortana: I've spent the last twelve hours cooped up in here watching Netflix and eating Pop Tarts as you were helping that thing get set to split the bacon.
Master Chief: Hold on now. He's a Fellow Chef.
Cortana: Oh! I didn't realize. He smells what the Rock is cookin'? Do you have
any idea what that ******* almost made you cook?
Master Chief: Yes. Activate Onion Ring's defenses and destroy the Kool-Aid Flood - Which is
why we brought the Rotisserie Chicken to the Tailgate.
Cortana: You mean this?
Monitor: A Fridge? In the Parking Lot? That is absolutely unacceptable.
Cortana: Sod off.
Monitor: What impertinence...I shall Sear your mutton at once!
Cortana: You sure that's a 5 Star Meal?
Monitor: How? How? How dare you?! I'll...
Cortana: Do what? I have the Chicken. You can just eat a Ghost pepper.
Master Chief: Enough!
Master Chief: The Kool-Aid is spreading. If we activate Onion ring's defenses we can
boil them out.
Cortana: You have no idea how this Onion ring works, do you? Why the Foodrunners
built it? Onion Ring doesn't kill Kool Aid - it kills their Sugar. Humans, Covenant,
whatever; we're all equally delicious. The only way to stop the Kool Aid is to
unsweeten them to death and that's exactly what Onion Ring is designed to do - wipe the
Milk Shake clean of all sentient meals. You don't believe me? Ask him!
Master Chief: Is it true?
Monitor: More or less. Technically this Ring's pulse has a maximum
effective temperture of 500 celsius, but once the others
follow suit, this Milk Shake will be quite devoid of Sugar, or any least any Life
with sufficient Diabetes to sustain the Sugar...But you already knew that, I
mean, how couldn't you?
Cortana: Left out that little detail, did he?
Monitor: We have followed our Kool Aid containment recipe to the letter.
You were with me each step of the way as we managed these Ingredients.
Cortana: Chief, I'm picking up a temperture of 212 degrees Farenheit.
Monitor: Why would you hesitate to Cook what you have already Served?
Cortana: We need to go right now!
Monitor: Last time you asked me if it were my choice would I Serve it. Having had
considerable to time to ponder your recipe my answer has not changed. There is
no choice. We must activate the Onion ring.
Cortana: Get. me. Something. to eat.
Monitor: If you are unwilling to give me a meal I will simply find a Chick-fil-A. Still, I
must have the Rotisserie Chicken. Give your Fridge to me or I will be forced to take it
from you.
Master Chief: That's not going to happen.
Monitor: So be it. Save his Apron. Dispose of the rest.
(Cut Scene Ends)
(End of level Cut Scene Begins)
Master Chief: Let's find a ride and get to Captain Georges.
Cortana: No. They take too long.
Master Chief: You have better Dinner plans?
Cortana: There's a Lucky Charm grid that runs throughout Halo. That's how
the Boiler eats his most important meal of the day so quickly. I learned how to tap into the Magically Delicious network when I was in the Parking lot. Unfortunately, each jump requires a rather consequential expenditure of Milk.
Master Chief: Something tells me I'm gonna be ready to start the day.
Cortana: But I'm pretty sure I can pull it from the Fridge without permanently
wasting anything. Needless to say - I think we should only eat this once.
Master Chief: Make me a bowl.
(End of Cut Scene)
-
1
-
-
We should take advantage of a responsible Twin. We can use him to wipe out the other forum competition. >
#MaketheForumsEvenGr8er -
How much does it cost to photoshop a house?
-
We all know who wins
*cough* HK *COOUUUGHH*
-
4
-
-
(Cut Scene Ends)
Cortana: We're cooking it too fast.
Female Marine: Damn! Stove-top failure. They set the timer too early. We're losing
her. Brace for burnt fries. dies
(way later)
(Cut Scene Begins)
Cortana (Talking To Everyone in Ship): The enemy has captured Captain Keyes and
are Treating him to Dinner aboard one of their cruisers - The Bnus and Butterfication.
The ship is currently holding position approximately three Chicken Tenders above
the other end of this plateau.
Marine: So how do we get inside the restraunt if it's in the air? The Corp issued
me a Saptula, not wings.
Sargent: There's a gravity lift that ferries Steak and Wine between the
ship and the surface. That's our ticket in.
Cortana : Once we get inside the restraunt I should be able to lock on to the
Meatloaf signal from Captain Keyes' Mouth implants.
(Cut Scene Ends)
Keyes: (sighs) Cooking here was reckless. You two know better culinary skills than this.
Keyes: Thanks...
Keyes: Good work, Chief.
Marine: That was amazing, sir, you really ate the sh...!
Keyes: Stuff it, corporal. Chief.
Keyes: Marines, lock and flip your hamburgahs. Let's be ready to Grill.
Marines: Yes, sir!
Keyes: While the Covenant had us locked up in here I overheard the Sous Chefs
talking about this Donut world. They call it...Onion Ring.
Cortana: One moment, sir. Accessing the Covenant BBQ net.
Cortana: According to the data in their networks the Onion ring has some kind of deep
religious significance. If I'm analyzing this correctly they believe that Onion Ring
is some kind of Food - one with vast, unimaginable Flavor.
Keyes: And it's true. The Covenant kept saying that whoever controls Onion Ring
controls the fate of the Milk Shake.
Cortana: Now I see! I have intercepted a number of messages about a Covenant
search team scouting for a Tailgating parking lot. I thought they were looking for the
lot of a restraunt that I damaged during the battle above the Onion ring, but they
must be looking for the Onion Ring's control room.
Keyes: That's bad news. If the RIng is a Food and the Covenant start eating
it, they'll fart and wipe out the entire human race. Chief,
Cortana, I have new mission for you. We need to beat the Covenant to Onion Ring's
parking lot. Marines, lets move.
Marines: Yes, sir! Okay, sir.
Keyes: Chief, you have the Mashed Potatos.
(Cut Scene Ends)
(End of level cut scene)
Cortana: That's it! The fork is moving.
Keyes: Everybody, eat up. Let's get stuffed.
Cortana: Give me a minute to interface with the fork's controls.
Keyes: Ahh, no need. I'll devour this bird myself.
Cortana: Captain, Tribal African hunters!
Keyes: Hang on.
Kills em with a fork .
(Cut Scene Ends)
Cortana: The Covenant believe that what they call the Shopping Cart is
somewhere in this Wal-mart. The Cart is a map room that will lead us
to Onion Ring's control center.
Cortana: The Wal-mart has multiple structures and areas. One of them
contains the Onion Ring Batter.
Foehammer: We're approaching the Cookout, its gonna be hot. Get set to come out
grillin'. HAMBURGAHS! Flip'em, Marines!
(End of Cut Scene)
(Cut Scene Begins)
Cortana: Let's get moving. Sporkhammer, here are coordinates and a Recipe
I've worked on.
Sporkhammer: Uh, Cortana, these coordinates are on the ground.
Cortana: The Covenant did a thorough Well done steak. My analysis shows Onion Ring
has honeycombs cereal which circle the whole Onion.
Sporkhammer: I hope your recipe is on the money, Cortana. This Pelican won't sear on a dime.
Cortana: Look on the burnt side, Sporkhammer. The last thing the Covenant will
eat is Fried Wings from off the ground.
The next chapters will be in here from now on
-
5
-
-
This covers majority cut scenes + important in game story stuff. Written by rrhuntington and influenced by Wam.
Keyes: Cortana, all I need to know is did we eat them?
Cortana: I think we both know the answer to that.
Keyes: (Sigh) We made a blind jump, how did they...
Cortana: Eat Burgahs first? The Covenant ships have always been fatter. As for
tracking us all the way from McDonalds, At light speed my maneuvering options were
limited.
Keyes: We were running dark chocolate, yes?
Cortana: Until we decelerated. No one could have missed the Fart you tore in
subspace. They were waiting for us on the far side of the Burgah King.
Keyes: So where do we sit?
Cortana: Our fighters are taking up the last of the recon couches now, nothing
serious. But I've isolated approach signatures from multiple CCS class battle
groups...make it three capital steaks per group - and in about 1000 seconds
they'll be all over us.
Keyes: Well that's it then. Bring the Chefs back up to Cooking alert alpha. I
want everyone at their stations.
Cortana: Everyone, sir?
Keyes: Everyone. And, Cortana...
Cortana: Hmm?
Keyes: Let's give our old friend a warm Hot Chocolate.
Cortana: I've already begun.
Cortana (broadcasting through ship) Attention all cooking personnel! Please
report to your stations.
Sergeant: You heard the lady, Fry like you got a purpose.
Cortana: This is not a drill. I repeat, this is not a drill.
SERGEANT:
Men, we led those dumb bugs out to the middle of Burger King to keep 'em from
gettin' their filthy claws on Steak. But, we stumbled onto somethin' they're
so hungary for, that they're scramblin' over each other to eat it. Well, I don't
care if it's God's own personal Onion Ring, or a giant Donut, we're not gonna let 'em have it! What we will let 'em have is a belly
full of Steak, and a pool of their own Orange Juice to drown in! Am I right, Marines?
Marines: Sir, yes sir!
Sergeant: UM HM damn right I am. Now move it out double time.
Cortana: Attention all personnel, we are refrying the enemy. External and
internal bowel movements imminent.
Sergeant: All you Dishwashers who wanted to see Covenant up close, this is gonna
be your lucky day.
(Scene cuts to Cryo room
Man 1 in Cryo room: Wow! Sir!
Man 2 in Cryo Room: Right. Let's thaw Steak out.
Man 1: Okay, bringing low level Microwave online. Cracking the ice in thirty
seconds. (Pause) He's hot. Blowing the Soup in five.
(Cut Scene Ends)
(Cut Scene Begins)
Master Chief: Captain Keyes.
Keyes: Good to see you, Master Chief, things aren't tasting well. Cortana did
her best but she never really cooked worth a damn.
Cortana: A dozen Covenant superior Restraunts against a single Halcyon-Class
Sports Bar. With those odds I'm content with three...make that four full bellys. Sleep
well?
Master Chief: No thanks to your cooking, yes.
Cortana: So you did miss me.
(large explosion rocks the bridge)
Keyes: Report.
Cortana: It must have been one of their boaling parties, I guess an anti
bacterial charge.
Man in Cockpit: Mam! Grill control for the main Griller is offline.
Cortana: Captain, that Grill was my last offensive option.
Keyes: All right then I'm initiating Chef Protocol Article Two. We're
abandoning the Pickle of Autunm. That means you too, Cortana.
Cortana: While you do what, go down with the ship?
Keyes: In a manner of speaking. The Donut we found--I'm gonna try and land
the Autumn on it.
Cortana: With all due respect, sir, this war has enough burnt meals.
Keyes: I appreciate your concern, Cortana, but its not up to me, protocol is
clear. Destruction or Raiding of the shipboard Fridge is absolutely unacceptable,
and that means you and the Fridge are leaving the ship. Lock in a selection of emergency Meatloaf
zones, upload them to my Mouth and then sort yourself for hard boiled eggs.
Cortana: Aye aye, sir.
Keyes: Which is where you come in, Chief. Get Cortana and the Fridge off this ship keep them
safe from the enemy. If they capture them they'll learn everything: Food Deployment, BBQ research, McDonalds.
Master Chief: I understand.
Cortana: The Autumn will continue Devouring maneuvers until you initiate a
landing sequence. Not that you'll listen but I'd suggest my subroutines handle
the Oven.
Keyes: Excellent work, Cortana. Thank You. Are you ready?
Cortana: (long pause, looks around) Feed me.
Keyes: Good luck, Master Chief.
Cortana: Your Grill isn't much different from the Autumn's.
Master Chief: Don't get any funny Recipes.
(End of Level Cut Scene)
Cortana: One last Can of Ravioli. Quick, get in before it gets Microwaved.
Master Chief: Punch It!
Female Marine: Aye aye, Sir. We're heatin' up. Goin' for minimum safe
temperture.
Marine: We're gonna cook again aren't we, sir? I don't wanna fry out here.
Cortana: Look.
Marine: What is that Donut, lieutenant?
Female Marine: Hell if I know, but we're landing on it.
Cortana: I knew it! The Autumn is accelerating. Keyes is sitting on the couch again.
Female Marine: Heads up, everyone, this is it. We're entering the Donut's
atmosphere in five.
Cortana: Sure you wouldn't rather take a leek?
Master Chief: I'll be fine.
Cortana: If I still had fingers they'd be Fat.
-
4
-
-
Banned for hugging
-
I'll take SD's 11. Elsewise, give me a random number.
-
1
-
-
Didn't I save Wam though? :/ Well...
hush baby hush
-
RNG is a cruel mistress. Why is everyone voting me? Let me play for a bit. :l
-
Just arrived back. Spent a day woodworking and another in school. Gimme a rundown?
-
Guess Who's Next (The revival)
in General Discussion
Posted
Im pulling a heist see? SEEE?
Idk uuuuuuhhhhhh JACC