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The 343i.org Confessional


Father B

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  • 3 weeks later...

Bless me Father for I have sinned. I was playing multiplayer on Minecraft with one of my friends on one of her friends worlds, when her friend killed me after I had dug a mine and found diamonds. He killed me to take the diamonds from me, which I would have gladly made for him. I then did the duplication glitch on some TNT (multiple times) and covered a 64x64 space beneath his house with it. Then, just as he went to save, I detonated it. This caused so much lag that it corrupted his save file, thereby destroying his world. Then I laughed so hard that I ended up with a coughing fit.

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Mr Chaplin I must confess to killing everyone the other day. Someone said my trigger word again and I let loose. I wouldn't die :'( I killed my own teammates and foe alike!! It was horrible. I ranked up 40 kills in the BTB and 30 betrayals :( This still haunts me....

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Forgive me Father, for I have sinned.

 

On more than one occasion, I have been found making love to the bodies of my dead team mates in order to stop the other team shooting at me. (It has worked numerous times) As the other team surrounds me and joins me in the festivities, I am prone to dropping stickies and getting the hell out of there..... Does this make me a bad person?

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Forgive me Father, for I have sinned.

 

...

 

Does this make me a bad person?

Rest easy, my child. Taking advantage of the gullibility of your opponent is a part of warfare. They chose to put themselves in a situation whereby you could capitalize to maximum effect. That's on them - not you.

 

"Fool me once: shame on you. Fool me twice: shame on me."

 

Go now with the blessing of Twam. Go! And spread the joy that is the Respawn.

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Forgive me father for I have sinned.

 

I used a perfectly good Jet on BF3 as a c4 delivering device. The worst part is that my teammates were all wanting this jet, and running towards it, but I stole it from them off the spawn, landed it elsewhere, then covered it with c4 and used it to kill a sniper off in the hills. The only redeeming thing is that his squad spawned on him just as my jet hit him, so I ended up with a squad kill. :3

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The other night I was playing Gears of War with Tyreal and I kept steeling his kills by accident' mainly when the enemy is down I finish them off. Sorry Tyreal

 

During Forge on Reach I chased CHeAse and someone else around with the kill ball for the sake of it

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I once tried to yoink my cousin of an assassination and accidentally shot him in the face with a shotgun, then the person that was getting assassinated beat me down. It was quite the event. It was pretty hysterical until I realized my respawn time was extra long due to the betrayal. I was then sad.

 

P.s. I have a video of this happening.

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Bless me Father for I have sinned. I was playing multiplayer on Minecraft with one of my friends on one of her friends worlds, when her friend killed me after I had dug a mine and found diamonds. He killed me to take the diamonds from me, which I would have gladly made for him. I then did the duplication glitch on some TNT (multiple times) and covered a 64x64 space beneath his house with it. Then, just as he went to save, I detonated it. This caused so much lag that it corrupted his save file, thereby destroying his world. Then I laughed so hard that I ended up with a coughing fit.

 

Thats not a sin, thats a just war.

 

If I might ask intercession on behalf of my friend.

 

My other friend, whos rather odd, builds absolutely gigantic rectangular buildings in Minecraft. My other friend, the sinner, simply covered his entire house with TNT for no reason and blew it up. Afterwards, he filled in the crater with water.

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Forgive me Father since it has been many months since my last confession. In that time I have used the "Player Review" and submitted "Unfamiliar with the game", reviews on smack talking 50's that chose to keep a 15 minute skirmish game going until the last possible second just for sheer kicks. I have, for only the second time in my XBL history of being a party leader, booted and annoying and disruptive friend of a friend directly after my actual friend left the party. The f.o.a.f. was terribly upset and messaged me repeatedly. I messaged back once telling him to seek professional mental help. I have committed countless acts of betrayal on AFK players. Finally, my greatest sin was leaving my friend Jester alone in the forums, for this I am most humbly sorry.

 

I ask for atonement for these and other sins that our true Father knows.

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Bless me father for I have sinned. I repeatedly betrayed a teammate on a legendary run of Halo 2 this weekend. To be fair, he started it though by shooting me until my shields popped so that jackal snipers could kill me so he could grab the sniper off of the checkpoint instead of me. His reaction to me sticking him in the back off the spawn was too priceless to resist doing over and over and over.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Father forgive me for I was playing Halo 3 yesterday and at first muted a squeaker, then decided to unmute him and called him some rather choice words that one should not call a young child. Then I continued to go 22-11 and had 3 Flag Caps. The other team had a total of 20 kills the whole game, my team had a total of 30. I believe pwnage would not describe what happened.

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Forgive me father for I have sinned.

 

After not having halo reach or halo 3 for over two months now, I gave the enemy a call. That's right, I played modern warfare 3!

Words cannot describe how sick I am for doing this, and I fear that I will continue to play until I can get a new halo disc of some sort.

 

Endless nights of crying under a cold shower are sure to entail, given that my willpower has been drained. I NEED TO SHOOT THINGS!

 

Please do not judge me for my sins.

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