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Hello ladies and gentlemen, if you didn't already know by the thousands of reminders in the shoutbox, IT'S MAH BERTHDEY. So, I figured the best way to celebrate would be to write a review to please your eyes and brain. So sit back, relax, and let's dive into the box office dinosaur known as Jurassic World! There will be minor spoilers, but if you haven't seen the movie, don't worry too much. You're not going into this for the story, you and I both know that. No, you're going to see Jurassic World for two things: Nostalgia, and DINO WARS. 




So, let's talk about the film's story a bit, since we're on the subject. The film begins following the tale of two brothers going to visit their aunt, who helps run the new and improved park. Chris Pratt plays a raptor trainer who is probably the best part of this movie, but that might just be because he's Chris bloody Pratt. Basically, the park has begun to dip in ratings, so they decide it'd be a fantastic idea to genetically engineer a new dinosaur, made up of many species. Of course, this backfires, and we have our plot. Now, is the plot believable? Not in any way. Is it fun to watch? Absolutely. It entertains me to watch dinosaurs chew into people and just cause chaos. Not every film needs to be an art-house philosophical journey. Not discounting the greatness of those films, however. Jurassic World's plot basically works for what they are trying to convey. 




So, how is the action and CGI? To me, a lot of the CGI work was very well done and the animatronics were a nice touch. The fighting is what tops this movie off though, it's so cheesy and fun to watch dinosaurs fight dinosaurs, dinosaurs fight humans, etc. I'm going to mention one action scene here, but don't worry, no real spoilers. Eventually, they chase down this genetically engineered dinosaur to a pterodactyl enclosure WITH A HELICOPTER AND A MACHINE GUN. They just rip through the dinosaur but it manages to break into the enclosure and the pterodactyls SWARM the helicopters, like getting stuck in the rotors and all that jazz. You watch as the helicopter EXPLODES and it's just beauty. The next scene after is even better, but I won't spoil it for you. 




Acting and directing, you say? Well, it's really a mixed bag. I mean, you have fantastic actors like Chris Pratt and Bryce Dallas Howard who light up the screen with their passion and you can truly see they ENJOY the role. But then you've got Vincent D'onofrio and the two brothers who feel SO PHONED IN it's truly disappointing. Again, I don't expect Whiplash or Dawn of the Planet of the Apes level acting, but come the hell on. Directing is fine, I'm not really a critic in this area, I wouldn't know too well.


So what was my overall opinion on Jurassic World? I felt that it was a criminally underrated pop-corn flick that will be extreme fun to watch every now and then. It's a better Jurassic Park than Lost World and III, that's for sure. Chris Pratt and the movie's action are really where it shines it's brightest, and it's dinosaurs are certainly a delight to watch on screen. I think this movie can really been a great time for some friends who just wanna go see a fun film about dinosaurs tearing up a park. And the last 30+ minutes are some of the best movie moments I've ever seen. It's certainly not going to win an Oscar for best film, but as far as action movies go, it's a killer time.


For my movie ratings, I use an F-A+ system, F being the worst, and A+ being the best, and anything inbetween being, y'know, inbetween. I give Jurassic World an:



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Dinosaurs weren't Elite's. 0/10



On a more serious note, I didn't enjoy the movie all that much. So many cliches were placed, that the next scene was entirely predictable. Colin Trevorrow disappointed me. You can also tell this movie was made more for the giggles than any other of the Jurassic Park Series. Making everything a joke, you can honestly tell they kinda gave up but made the best of it at the same time. I give the Movie a "D+"


I'm glad you enjoyed the movie. Happy birthday EK.

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