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Redemption New chapter!!!


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70 replies to this topic

#1 Fire

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Posted 16 November 2011 - 10:51 PM

Hey Everyone, just a couple quick notices

1. This is my first halo-fiction so keep that in mind
2. i want your HONEST opinion
3. if i have a grammar mistake or a spelling error, let me know
4. I need an editor to see how most of it sounds!

NOTICE: Due to the length of this ever-growing work, I am uploading it to Google Docs.

Please leave a comment or even better a review :D.

Prologue
Chapter I
Chapter II








Special Thanks to

Halo Wikia- helped with the dates and canon tweaks

The 343industries.org for just being awesome

Bungie and Microsoft and 343i for giving me a nice sandbox to use

Absolute Dog for helping me edit

Brony for letting be borrow a couple lines

__________________________________________________________________

Halo and the Halo Universe are the respective property of Microsoft and it's trademarks

This story is the solo work of Ian Bossler and belongs to said person along with 343industries.org


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#2 Tommy

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Posted 16 November 2011 - 10:56 PM

Not even in her worst nightmares had she expected this, something that she could not have been prepared for.**

#3 BraverKING514

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Posted 16 November 2011 - 11:27 PM

That was great. You should write the next few Halo books. I am blown away. That was incredible :unworthy: Boring? This is great. Don't be down on yourself.

#4 Graveminddead97

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Posted 17 November 2011 - 01:48 PM

That was good. You should be a writer.

#5 Fire

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Posted 17 November 2011 - 10:22 PM

gah, thanks guys, annoying how my formatting is lost, might upload as a .pdf

FEEL FREE TO DROP IDEAS!

>Anxiously awaiting the return of the legendary Spectral Jester<

>Come read my halo fan-fiction as it develops<

>If my post has helped you, make sure to click the like button<

>I was Honored to serve as a Community Moderator for the astounding forum Twam has given us<

>Like us on Facebook< >Follow us on Google Plus<

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#6 Heinzkompf

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Posted 17 November 2011 - 10:27 PM

right the next few Halo books.

I wouldn't say that if I were you. Just sayin'.

#7 Fire

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Posted 17 November 2011 - 10:43 PM

yeah that is ironic,
"you are the worlds best speeler Braverking"

>Anxiously awaiting the return of the legendary Spectral Jester<

>Come read my halo fan-fiction as it develops<

>If my post has helped you, make sure to click the like button<

>I was Honored to serve as a Community Moderator for the astounding forum Twam has given us<

>Like us on Facebook< >Follow us on Google Plus<

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#8 BraverKING514

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Posted 17 November 2011 - 10:59 PM

yeah that is ironic,
"you are the worlds best speeler Braverking"

Nice.... speeler... Something I would do.

It is true. I can't spell at all. And getting on at 10pm doesn't help either.
Maybe I should have payed attention in English class.... :laughing:

#9 SamF1sh

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Posted 17 November 2011 - 11:05 PM

cool, I'm guessing this is augmentation?
[avatar]SamF1sh[/avatar]

#10 Tommy

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Posted 17 November 2011 - 11:22 PM

It's a really good intro, really gives you the feel for the characters. I like it a lot(:

#11 Fire

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Posted 17 November 2011 - 11:31 PM

yes this is augmentation process, cassandra is one of the damaged spartans.

I already have a plot cooking in my head, even in the actualy canon Cassandra and chief had a thing

>Anxiously awaiting the return of the legendary Spectral Jester<

>Come read my halo fan-fiction as it develops<

>If my post has helped you, make sure to click the like button<

>I was Honored to serve as a Community Moderator for the astounding forum Twam has given us<

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#12 Kurt S-501

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Posted 17 November 2011 - 11:31 PM

That was great! You really have a talent for writing. I look forward to the next part!

Posted Image



John 6:47, "Truly, truly, I say to you, whoever believes has eternal life."


#13 SuperIntendant

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Posted 19 November 2011 - 07:20 PM

I like it, if it isn't pinned, it should be.
I now have a Twitter! https://twitter.com/#!/MasonSSI

Something is falling towards you. Or are you falling towards it?

#14 Fire

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Posted 19 November 2011 - 07:35 PM

thanks everyone! (it is pinned btw!)

I really need an editor and some pre-readers too.

>Anxiously awaiting the return of the legendary Spectral Jester<

>Come read my halo fan-fiction as it develops<

>If my post has helped you, make sure to click the like button<

>I was Honored to serve as a Community Moderator for the astounding forum Twam has given us<

>Like us on Facebook< >Follow us on Google Plus<

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#15 TH3 R34P3R 97

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Posted 19 November 2011 - 09:06 PM

:( borring

#16 Fire

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Posted 19 November 2011 - 09:38 PM

well uh.. thanks for trying?

>Anxiously awaiting the return of the legendary Spectral Jester<

>Come read my halo fan-fiction as it develops<

>If my post has helped you, make sure to click the like button<

>I was Honored to serve as a Community Moderator for the astounding forum Twam has given us<

>Like us on Facebook< >Follow us on Google Plus<

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#17 Father B

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Posted 20 November 2011 - 01:24 AM

Good stuff, Fire. Well done, with a little room yet for improvement. I'd love to be your editor, but I'd need an actual computer instead of this iPhail.

I have to say that the augmentation processes have always been a point of interest for me. The medical science behind it, while a bit farfetched, always tickled my fancy. It only got more interesting with Chrysanthemum and the SPARTAN-III's.

All in all, I look forward to more about John, Cassandra, and her unique skin condition. :D Jokes. But serious, I likey. :yes Keep it coming.

Twam be with you.


Posted ImagePosted Image


#18 Fire

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Posted 20 November 2011 - 02:18 AM

Thanks, my goal is stay within the canon lines.

Cassandra was great because-
1. she is still alive as far as we know
2. she was damaged but was almost done healing after halo 1
3. her and John had a thing

>Anxiously awaiting the return of the legendary Spectral Jester<

>Come read my halo fan-fiction as it develops<

>If my post has helped you, make sure to click the like button<

>I was Honored to serve as a Community Moderator for the astounding forum Twam has given us<

>Like us on Facebook< >Follow us on Google Plus<

>Follow us on Twitter< >Join our Steam Group<

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#19 Archon

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Posted 20 November 2011 - 03:16 AM

It's Spartan Augmentations. S-II.

Interesting, choice of words was... good. Paragraphs. Decent sizes.

Honestly though. MC has Brown hair, and Brown eyes.


And he liked fighting... wasn't a very talkative, nice or person who smiled a lot.

15.jpg

 


#20 Fire

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Posted 20 November 2011 - 03:24 AM

I know, this is me trying to give him a more human side, and i know it said he had brown hair when he was abducted (6) but i thought maybe it mighta changed.

>Anxiously awaiting the return of the legendary Spectral Jester<

>Come read my halo fan-fiction as it develops<

>If my post has helped you, make sure to click the like button<

>I was Honored to serve as a Community Moderator for the astounding forum Twam has given us<

>Like us on Facebook< >Follow us on Google Plus<

>Follow us on Twitter< >Join our Steam Group<

>Subscribe to us on Youtube<





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